10 years after .....

[joysterm]

On this day some 10 years ago, I  stumbled on this page as I was searching for some help and a few ideas. I was hoping it would help me in trying to restore my car that had remained on blocks for 37 years, untouched and unloved,  broken due to my neglect. Much has transpired since that day. Some 6 years after my first post my car returned to its rightful glory, ready to live up to the reputation as the ultimate driving machine. Much to the thanks of the contributors of this forum. For that I will remain eternally thankful. It was such a treat to climb back in that seat and relive those feelings I experienced the first time I drove the car. If it was not for the support I am not sure if I would have completed the car. Although the last 4 years have brought me as much satisfaction and joy as I could have imagined, unfortunately  the last 2 years, the last 12 months especially have been I struggle  for me. 

 

 I am a retired firefighter. I have been retired now for some 18 years and now after some 30 years of service I am beginning to deal with the physical side affects of those years. Just like everyone on this earth as you get older things change. You are now unable to move as well as you once did. You may be lucky to grow old gracefully, or be able to live our your life on your own terms. Unfortunately my profession has dealt me a hand that I was not prepared for.

 

First,  please indulge me for just few more minutes. Not quite 2 years ago I lost a number of friends,  some fireman,  some not. All,  I considered very good friends. One in  particular was Paul Winterton who I am sure you have likely come in contact with. The impact of his passing did not strike me until many months later.  After all I have become somewhat numb to have friends pass away because it happens way too often when you work in this profession. (Thanks to Cancer) It was a painful time, COVID was at its height, so isolation was the world we all lived in. Once the restriction were lifted we could all breath again, unfortunately for me I was not quite so anxious to hop in the car a go for a burn. To this day I have yet to drive the  scenic highway to Whistler, a road that travelled every other week , or so it would seem. I have yet to attend any local C&C events either. What embarrasses me more than anything, is to bail on our plans to attend Car Week last year, hanging out a few guys that planned on the trip with Paul and myself.  My health deteriorated to a point my doctor was emphatic that I do not travel because of a pre existing heart issue  that was now problematic.  To cap it off,  2 months later two friends committed suicide and another failing in his  attempt shortly there after. I was devastated. 

 

Since then I have  been suffering the affects of all these episodes. I was in a very dark place for a period of time many things suffered. As a result I am now apart of a support group that deals with retired firefighters who suffer from the affects of PTSD, I am better,  but still have those days that are very much a struggle to get thru. So I will now get to the point of this diatribe. 

 

I have decided to withdraw from this community as soon as I can make the necessary arrangements to sell my car. I have struggled to no end in this decision. I will no doubt regret it but  I do not wish to put my family  through the pain and heartache of trying to sell a car nor the excess of parts that are still taking up space,  not to mention my need to maintain any degree of  wellness. I should add  I am not interested in placing the car on auctions sites. I am not prepared to further risk my mental  health in defending any perceived deficiencies or shortcomings  of the car by those who lurk on those sites. 

 

I want to take this final opportunity to thank you all that have taken the time to indulge me here. , this decision has weighed greatly on me for a long time and very much appreciate you allowing me to get this off my chest. Thank you all for your support, and friendship the past 10 years. This is a special site with special people I  consider myself fortunate to be included in it. Hopefully my car can find someone here.

 

At the risk of repeating myself yet once again....Thank you

 

Mike

Edited August 15, 2023 by joysterm

[Rodolfo Lasparri]

Hello Mike,

 

While I have not spoken with you personally, I had with Paul several times in the past and can understand (only to some degree) the profound loss that you must have felt being such a close friend of his and for that I am truly sorry. We all age at varying degrees and given the circumstances you've endured/shared - I can only imagine the weight of it all. I for one, wish you all the best and thank you for not only taking the time to support this community  - but commend you for all you have done and the transparency you have shared with us all today. I am down in the Seattle area and will be sad to see you go - I have been restoring my Tii (bought some parts off you   and am in the final stages now of finally getting back on the road. I saw the post last year about Car week and wished I would have been able to go - given my timings next year will be my first shot to potentially do so. In any event - if I never get to meet you - all the best to you sir. You will be missed!

 

Take care and be well, Bret.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Rodolfo Lasparri
typo

[Son of Marty]

Mike just hang in there and take care of your self,  I also have heath problems and I'm struggling to rid my collection of 02's and parts, they represent some of the best years and best friends of my life. I also worked in a in a job where close friends sometimes didn't come home and it sucks the big one big time but at least you had the honor of knowing good people as did I. just remember your friends here appreciates your hanging with us. If I get back up to the great white north the beers are on me.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Son of Marty

[resra]

Soon these posts will be 10, 20 30 plus years old! Such is life! 

I made and met some of the most wonderful people/friends through this board and you are one of them joysterm!

 

Edited August 15, 2023 by resra

[TobyB]

Hi, Mike,

in your shoes, I'd keep the car, and keep doing things that I loved.

Because depression runs strong in my family, too, and I find that the

best way to beat it is to, yup, keep doing what I LIKE doing.

Doctors try to keep the patient alive, but what is alive if you're not living?

support,

t

 

(full disclosure- I sold Mike a car once.  He still talks to me, surprisingly)

[ray_]

Mike, you can withdraw from this community but you will still always be a part of it.

 

And you are always welcome back.

 

(And, don't leave ;-) )

 

Best,

[Buckeye]

Mike, I recall buying a BMW emblem from you several years ago. I always loved reading your posts and following your build. Keep the car and keep doing things that you love.

[Teelinger]

@joysterm

 

It's with a heavy heart that I read your post. You and Paul were the first 2 folks on the FAQ I ever met in person. You both made me feel welcomed and I've learned a lot from our conversations over the years. I feel blessed to have/had you both as friends, sharing our love for these old cars. 

 

I completely understand you wanting to step away, you've been through a lot. That being said, I also share Toby's suggestion to stay and continue pursuing your passions. 

 

What ever you choose to do Mike, I offer my support. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to reach out.

 

I'll be there for you.

 

James

[mccusername]

Hi Mike,

 

I didn't get to know Paul well but I bought a wonderful Tii motor that he restored and put his heart into and that was enough to realize what a great enthusiast he was. I can imagine how great a friend he was as well. His death made me think of the burden all the stupid/awesome cars and parts I've accumulated would be on my family one day. What helped me was to make an 'estate plan' for my cars. I organized paperwork, made lists of parts, left instructions on how to sell the cars, and wrote down contact info for trusted car friends who could advise my family. It still wouldn't be hassle-free if something happened to me unexpectedly but it helps a lot.

I also sold some cars that weren't bringing me joy any more, which is also totally reasonably. My only advice would be just to wait a couple of months and see how you feel then.

And even if you sell the car, don't leave this community. Give some advice, swap some parts, shoot the shit-- that's most of the fun.

Take care and good luck,
Michael

[Alexander]

Mike,

 

If you leave, you may  miss the Cracker Jacks like me. I've been leaving for a while, but I still  check back in from time to time.

 

I'd say keep your car even if you just look at it and start it up  occasionally. Take Michel's advice, above and your car(s) will never be a burden on anybody. These days my cars spend most of their time in the garage. I no longer attend the events such as the SoCal Vintage, which is held a mere 5-10 miles from my home. I'm still healthy, but I'm tired of the BS.

 

My 67 1600 was passed on to me by an elderly friend who was on his death bed due to complications from an auto accident from which  he never recovered. He had rolled his early 60s era Ford Ranchero on an on-ramp. And, he swore that if he had been in his 02, he would have made it around that turn.

 

A guy up the street from me purchased a 1961 Porsche 356 2000GTS Carrera for $4,000 at some time during 1968. During the last 30 years it was just sitting in his garage. He stopped driving a while back, but he liked to look at that car. It was all there, black on black with that rare  four cam motor. While on his way to or from the local convenience store to get a single beer wrapped inside a small brown paper bag he would walk by and chat with me as I worked on my 02's. He told me that when he passes his kids would probably sell his car for next to nothing because they didn't care for it as they were muscle car guys. But, he didn't care. I only learned of his passing by word of mouth through the Porsche community where somebody was bragging they had purchased the rare Carrera for $180K. It was probably worth a million dollars, at least. It's not about the money, but rather the enthusiasm and passion.