Deposits on private party car sales

[COOP]

I’d refund his full deposit, painful though that might be. It’s called “taking the high road and being the better man.” I look at deposits as an effective selling tactic to gain mental commitment and a higher probability that a sale will ultimately occur, more so than an ironclad guarantee of a done deal.  
 

At the end of the day, sure, he wasted a little of your time and  inconvenienced you to a minor degree, but he didn’t really cost you anything financially in concrete terms (to convince yourself otherwise is shaky moral justification). I’ve returned many thousands of dollars in customer deposits; it was inevitably wince-worthy, but deep down always felt like the right thing to do. I felt better by telling myself it actually never was a sale so I didn’t lose anything...but may have gained a future referral or a good word on the street.

You asked, that’s just my opinion, which you can of course discard in favor of everyone else’s telling you to pocket the cash.

[16vguy]

14 minutes ago, COOP said:

I’d refund his full deposit, painful though that might be. It’s called “taking the high road and being the better man.” I look at deposits as an effective selling tactic to gain mental commitment and a higher probability that a sale will ultimately occur, more so than an ironclad guarantee of a done deal.  
 

At the end of the day, sure, he wasted a little of your time and  inconvenienced you to a minor degree, but he didn’t really cost you anything financially in concrete terms (to convince yourself otherwise is shaky moral justification). I’ve returned many thousands of dollars in customer deposits; it was inevitably wince-worthy, but deep down always felt like the right thing to do. I felt better by telling myself it actually never was a sale so I didn’t lose anything...but may have gained a future referral or a good word on the street.

You asked, that’s just my opinion, which you can of course discard in favor of everyone else’s telling you to pocket the cash.

 

I think the difference is,  the potential buyer filed the paypal claim as a non delivered item, and escalated to “ talk to my lawyer”. 

 

I believe that if someone was honest, and the buyer said “ Hey, i got in over my head, or something changed,  any way we could talk about getting my deposit back”, it would be a different discussion. This isnt about “ pocketing cash”. 

 

 

[COOP]

16 minutes ago, 16vguy said:

 

I think the difference is,  the potential buyer filed the paypal claim as a non delivered item, and escalated to “ talk to my lawyer”. 

 

I believe that if someone was honest, and the buyer said “ Hey, i got in over my head, or something changed,  any way we could talk about getting my deposit back”, it would be a different discussion. This isnt about “ pocketing cash”. 

 

 

I missed any Initial mention that he “filed the PayPal claim as  a non-delivered item,” but, if accurate (I saw it in Conkitchen’s subsequent post) it’s a valid point and I’d probably go into “F-Him” mode too in that instance. I originally interpreted that the PP claim was simply to get his deposit refunded.

Edited July 6, 2020 by COOP

[conkitchen]

20 minutes ago, COOP said:

SEE ABOVE

Yeah Coop, it's a little more the fact that this tool was so quick and eager to go down the road of "talk to my lawyer" and immediately filed a dispute with PP without ever talking to me about what, if any issue he had. He just hide behind a text with threats and no explanation. All I ever did was try an accommodate the guy. Plain English, he acted like a douche bag. The very least I hope he sees the error in his ways and comes to understand the world is not here to serve just him.  In the car specialty business such that you are, you have a reputation which in turn reflects on future survival. I am not a dealer nor incorporated to sell cars. I am however a value-add builder/hobbyist who offers from time to time good deals on an old car once or twice a year.  I suppose if he was more of an honest, straight shooter and perhaps leveled with me about WTF was going on with him. I likely would have more empathy to just walk away from it minus the deposit. At this point in time, he created an adversarial environment within minutes of our communications.  I feel it's now my role to act by proxy as his parents should have and instill some honor and respect for others.  

 

But what do I know 

 

BTW, if any strange packages, say from back east show up at your home or place of business, I had nothing to do with it. 

['76mintgrün'02]

21 hours ago, conkitchen said:

We spoke over the phone one day about having to delay his pick-up one week

 

Why did you delay pick-up?

 

 

 

 

[COOP]

lol, point taken, go for it! You probably could have outlined his adversarial douchebaggery a little more clearly in your initial post as I missed it (or maybe I’m a tad daft)...

 

...and I don’t understand your last comment (“strange package from back East,” etc), your unique brand of humor often goes over my head.

[conkitchen]

6 minutes ago, COOP said:

...and I don’t understand your last comment (“strange package from back East,” etc), your unique brand of humor often goes over my head.

Ask Ray, It's his idea, Sorry Ray, I have PayPal down my throat and possible lawyers. I'm in enough trouble.  ?

[COOP]

Yeah, I’m good. Hope everything works out.

[NYNick]

I have a question on a different tack.

Does one agree on a price BEFORE the buyer performs a PPI at their expense?

['76mintgrün'02]

I still have the same question.  Why did you delay the pick up?

 

As well as another question, was that BEFORE or after you took his $1,000 deposit?

[tjones02]

@NYNick Price negotiation generally starts AFTER the PPI. And, whom ever is the purchaser of the PPI is the one who get to see the report unless they decide to share. The shop or person performing the PPI does NOT get hovered over by the seller or whom ever was not the purchaser of the PPI. It’s like client privilege. At least that’s the way it is in California.

[danco_]

39 minutes ago, tjones02 said:

@NYNick Price negotiation generally starts AFTER the PPI. And, whom ever is the purchaser of the PPI is the one who get to see the report unless they decide to share. The shop or person performing the PPI does NOT get hovered over by the seller or whom ever was not the purchaser of the PPI. It’s like client privilege. At least that’s the way it is in California.

 

maybe this flies for higher-priced cars, but I’m guessing Marc’s car was in the $5-10k range, being sold as-is, with no consideration for a PPI by either buyer or seller. 
 

I’d wager that price was agreed upon sight unseen, and both payment and pick up were to happen simultaneously. A deposit was made prior to pick up and buyer likely broke the contract (yes, a deposit denotes a contract between buyer and seller), thus nullifying the rules of said contract. 
 

If a PPI were agreed upon, the buyer would have taken the process more seriously and a second round of negotiations would have taken place post PPI. 
 

but OP never got to that part. And now buyer is being a little bitch. And Marc is stubborn and from a completely different generation from buyer and won’t bow down to the empty threats of the punk buyer because (insert hard working generational meme differentiating boomer and millennial culture and work ethic). 
 

 

Gentlemen, what we are witnessing here is a cultural shift in transactional ethics. And I love it. 

 

Edited July 6, 2020 by danco_

[conkitchen]

14 minutes ago, danco_ said:

(insert hard working generational meme differentiating boomer and millennial culture and work ethic). 
 

 Who you callin a boomer? I'm a proud member of the X clan. 

[tjones02]

4 hours ago, NYNick said:

I have a question on a different tack.

Does one agree on a price BEFORE the buyer performs a PPI at their expense?

@danco_ Sorry if I was confusing. I was answering a slightly off topic question from @NYNick. I was not referring to the deposit refund request topic of @conkitchen.

[danco_]

10 minutes ago, tjones02 said:

@danco_ Sorry if I was confusing. I was answering a slightly off topic question from @NYNick. I was not referring to the deposit refund request topic of @conkitchen.

You're in the clear. I was under the assumption that a PPI was a variable here, in which case it seems not to be.