Craigslistisms....

[zinz]

So, I sent this article to gearhead friend of mine... 

 

Savage for sale: Rare bike, highly collectible - RevZilla

WWW.REVZILLA.COM

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There are statements you read in ads for used motorcycles, and then there's the truth. Here's how to translate.

 

He replied to me:

 

Back when I had a day job and time to browse craigslist I periodically sent around the best quotable quotes:

 

42. We did pull the radiator out because the neck was completely broken off, that may be the reason for not starting.

43. Almost everything works.

44. the WIFE is tripping about having extra cars in the driveway. She had 2 another vehicles of mine towed a month ago.

45. needs cadillac converter

46. This car has got some speed in it.

47. ran well until some teeth decided they didn't want to be on the flywheel any longer

48. Brand new never been used Motown 383 stroker

49. Got new car and 4 lug-nuts won't fit so I gotta sale my wheels adn tires

50. I am done with this car.

51. We will take $500.00 for it, but would like to get $600.00.

52. Look come and get this thing out from in front of my house.

53. 251,000 miles / Honda’s go forever.  This vehicle is not running.

54. Ready to get rid of the clunker my husband can't seem to let go

55. Asking $600.00 or trade for Gold chains or Pistols of equal value.

56. Will take first best offer.

56. No doors, no motor, no transmission, no transfer case, no seats, no side glass.  Everything else ready for sand, prime and paint.

57. for the love of jesus and all that is holy someone buy it quick.

58. A great car to become a hero in!

59. scripture written on the car is in permanent marker

60. it runs well but overheats due to a crack in the radiator a bit too big to cover with jb weld

61. You might be able to fix it, you might not.

 

267.  the car DID run a few times when I first got it.

268.  color is one of a kind its called Aragonite blue only 2000 Mercedes painted this color

269.   It is electric start, starts on first kick

270.  Hey i have my nice but was once nicer ford expedition

271.  need to sell asap need money for college.  NEVER BEEN IN A RECK

272.  Looking to barter fo full size 1/2 ton 3/4 4x4 pickup chev or dodge no fords unless they come with a good set of walkin shoes

273.  For sale is a gently abused 2001 Ford Crown Crown Victoria Police Interceptor.

274.  This will get you from A to B. Just dont try to make it to C.

275.  One of a kind not many like it

276.   I've had this tractor a while and planned to repair it but only got as far as removing the hood.

277.  Hand a 80 only ting wrong is front tire flat.yahama 125 board out $850 no less

278.   You CAN NOT buy these tires anywhere.

279.  Don't know condition of engine as it appears to have just been "dropped" into engine bay. Still has a chain around it that was used.

280.  The truck was running good and then it stopped running. We think something is wrong with the motor.

281.   I do not understand Spanish.

282.  Can be painted any color.

283.   Only selling to save more money and buy something cheaper.

284.  Lots of old, no-good tractor tires. Perfect for barriers, a raised garden, cross-fit lifting, growing mosquitoes and harboring snakes. 

285.  was recently stolen and caught on fire. engine still runs good

286.  323000 miles runs but not well, I'm not sure what up with it.

287.  It is a hydronic transmission, not the newer model or electronic transmission. 

288.  You won't be not satisfied.

289.  This is not the truck in pictures - it's what it can look like!

290.  one of a kind, only 80 made

 

 

He tells me he lost the rest of his list, hence the missing numbers. 

 

Certainly you FAQers can add to the list...

 

Ed Z