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WOT Joke of the day (bad day)


Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

Walking through the woods a man comes up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquires:

"Just out of curiosity, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree."

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

"Well, OK..."

So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up against the tree. With this the other guy slaps a set of handcuffs on him, takes his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then strips him ass naked and leaves.

Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy handcuffed to the tree, stark ass naked, and asks:

"What the hell happened to you?"

He tells the guy the whole story about how he got there. While he was telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in sympathy, walks around behind

him, kisses him behind the ear and says. "This just ain't your day."

--

BD

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Guest Anonymous

So this blonde policewoman clocks a brunetts speening along in her 2002 (of course). She pulls her over and walks up to the drivers door. "I need to see your license please", the blonde says. Fumbling around in her purse the brunette discovers she doesn't have her wallet with her. She hand the officer her compack instead figuring the blonde won't know the difference. After opening the compact and looking at it she looks at the speeder and says, "If I'd known you were a cop too, I wouldn't have pulled you over!"

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Guest Anonymous

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open

his eyes. The first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin and a glass of water

on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, clean

and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees it is in perfect order,

spotless clean; so is the rest of the house. He takes the two aspirin and notices

a note on the table that reads, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left

early to go shopping. Love You!

He goes to the kitchen and sure enough there sits a hot breakfast and the

morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Marty asks, "Son, what

happened last night?"

His son answers, "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke

some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you

stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and

breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she

tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

A self-induced hangover - $100.00

Broken furniture - $200.00

Breakfast - $10.00

Saying the right thing - PRICELESS

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Guest Anonymous

It's Friday and this '02er gets his pay check but instead of going home he decides to hang out for the weekend with the other '02 boys.

Well, Sunday finally arrived and - with nothing left from his paycheck - he decides to head home.

Needless to say, after a long severe scolding and fighting from the wife, she settles down and asks: "How would you like it if you don't see me in three days?" "Well, I wouldn't mind honey" he replied.

Monday went by and he didn't see her.

Tuesday went by and he didn't see her.

Wednesday went by and he didn't see her.

Finally on Thursday after the swelling had gone down he was able to see her with the corner of his eye!

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Guest Anonymous

A man goes to his doctor and tells the doc " I keep hearing that song, you know "The green,green grass of home.""

The doctor looks at him as replies "Well you have Tom Jones disorder".

The guy says'" I never heard of that. Is it common?"

The doctor replies," Well, it's not unusual."

(Please direct your hate mail to CAR TALK, National Public Radio.!)

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