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OT/// Hi From Iraq


Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

glad your doing ok. sending a couple buddys your way in Dec. they're supply guys dunno if you'll run into em or not.

keep your head down and come back safe.

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Guest Anonymous

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URL: http://www.bmw2002faq.com/store/index.html

This is from an email from a buddy....

Want to pretend you are deployed?

Here is a list of things you can do right in the "comfort" of your own home to give

you that deployed feeling.

1. Sleep on a cot in the garage.

2. Replace the garage door with a curtain.

3. Two hours after you go to sleep, have your wife or girlfriend whip open the

curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."

4. Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your

bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold

water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet and pee everywhere but in the toilet

itself. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it

altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your

bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile

away.

5. When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off.

6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump

dirt on your head.

7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that

tactical generator smell.

8. Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have your family

vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one.

9. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level.

10. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

11. Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the wind

carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses

you.

12. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other

side of your bathtub.

13. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a

saltine cracker.

14. Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food

cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in an unidentifiable sauce

poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.

15. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes

off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as you can. Simulate there is no

hot water by running out into your yard and breaking out the garden hose.

16. Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put it back

together again.

17. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or six hours before

drinking.

18. Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their strange

hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months. Exchange clothes with them.

19. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee

table and lie under it to read books.

20. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so

that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you

pass through one of them.

21. Keep a roll of toilet paper on your night stand and bring it to the bathroom

with you along with your gun and a flashlight.

22. Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in case." Every time.

23. Announce to your family that they have mail, have them report to you as you

stand outside your open garage door after supper and then say, "Sorry, it's for the

other Smith."

24. Wash only 15 items of laundry per week. Roll up the semi-wet clean clothes in a

ball. Place them in a cloth sack in the corner of the garage where the cat pees.

After a week, unroll them and without ironing or removing the mildew, proudly wear

them to professional meetings and family gatherings. Pretend you don't know what you

look or smell like. Enthusiastically repeat the process for another week.

25. Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily armed, wearing a

flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a tent in a vacant lot. Announce to

the residents that you are there to help them.

26. Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for Malaria.

27. Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a morale phone

call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.

28. Shoot a few bullet holes in the walls of your home for proper ambiance.

29. Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and fragmentation.

30. While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass and culvert and

inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before proceeding.

31. Fire off 50 cherry bombs simultaneously in your driveway at 3:00 a.m. When

startled neighbors appear, tell them all is well, you are just registering mortars.

Tell them plastic will make an acceptable substitute for their shattered windows.

32. Drink your milk and sodas warm.

33. Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.

34. Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel you placed

outside the front door before they come in.

35. Make your family dig a survivability position with overhead cover in the

backyard. Complain that the 4x4s are not 8 inches on center and make them rebuild

it.

36. Continuously ask your spouse to allow you to go buy an M-Gator.

37. When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and

flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and

staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing.

After two weeks, give your son the gum.

38. Wait for the coldest/ hottest day of the year and announce to your family that

there will be no heat/air conditioning that day so you can perform much needed

maintenance on the heater/ air conditioner. Tell them you are doing this so they

won't get cold/ hot.

40. Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order yourself to

repeat this process for another six months to simulate the next deployment you've

been ordered to support.

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