re: Curt Ingraham

[DavidLMM]

I hope I am not breaching any etiquette here, but I just saw this on another BMW-oriented list I am on. I haven't seen anything about this here, and since Curt is a contributor to this list and supporter of our '02s, I thought it appropriate.

David in Nashville

"Hi all,

It's been awhile since I've sent out an update about Curt, and I

apologize in advance if this is (brand new) news to anybody. Curt was

diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago. Until a few months

ago, he was participating in a clinical trial at UCSF studying the

effects of new combinations of chemo drugs. Even though he didn't

suffer from some of the expected side effects, the drugs were taking

quite a toll on him physically. After several cycles of chemo, the

doctors told us that his blood counts were too low to continue with

the first combination of drugs that they had been using. In

preparation for starting another cycle, with a another combination of

drugs, he received some booster shots and blood transfusions. These

should have increased the blood counts, but didn't, and the doctors

were concerned that he would not be able to withstand the next round

of treatments without becoming very tired and weak. So, after much

discussion, he decided to stop the chemo treatments since it was

likely they would do more harm than good.

We went back to the Comprehensive Cancer Center at Alta Bates (where

Curt's treatment originally started) and they got him started with

hospice service. If you aren't familiar with hospice, the entire

focus is on Curt's physical comfort and quality of life. We have

regular home visits from RNs and are in contact with his doctors at

Alta Bates and we are confident that he is getting the best care

possible. He has been on hospice for a few weeks now, and I wanted to

let everybody know that cards, emails and (short) visits are all very

welcome. Talking on the phone can be difficult depending on what kind

of day we are having, but we check both home and cell voicemail daily,

so feel free to leave a message if you don't get an answer when you

call.

Thank you all for the care and concern you have offered to both of us.

It has made a huge difference and we both feel very lucky to have

such supportive family and friends!

Lisa Ferrari"

and in a later message...

"If you guys can take a minute from your busy days, drop Curtis a note in the mail, or a BMW trinket, etc. He's dying of cancer and has stopped treatment to live his remaining days without being poked, radiated, poisoned or cut open adn there is dignity in that.

I'm sure he'd like to hear from his Bimwad pals. I know its not easy to send a note or something, but its harder on his end to be forgotten.

Curtis Ingraham

6400 Shelterwood Drive,

Oakland, CA 94611"

Curt's S/O is Lisa Ferrari:

lisavferrari@gmail.com

[BillWilliams]

Dang!

Thanks for the update David.

I pray

[ought2]

Curt is a first class individual. When I first joined the FAQ, he would take time to email me and explain things in a detailed, patient manner. I never felt that I was being lectured to or scolded for not researching the answers thoroughly enough. I've never met Curt in person, but still consider him to be a friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Curt.

[markmac]

Damn it. I have something to send him that I hope will cheer him up. Thoughts and prayers. Cancer is an ugly thing - it's always someone else until its you, your wife, family etc., That "was" the way it was with me until it was my mom (RIP).

http://historicracingbmw.blogspot.com/

[MOJOJOY]

Best wishes friend!!!

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[Kidasters]

Dammit.

[josh72ooh2]

Aww bummer. Major bummer.

I owned my first 02 about 10 years ago. I sold Curt a set of speakers... then sold my 2002 for family reasons. 10 years later, i bought another 02, re-joined the FAQ and Curt remembered me! We were just exchanging e-mails again earlier in the year.

Great guy.

Sad news.

-Josh

[Armond]

Curt is a first class individual. When I first joined the FAQ, he would take time to email me and explain things in a detailed, patient manner. I never felt that I was being lectured to or scolded for not researching the answers thoroughly enough. I've never met Curt in person, but still consider him to be a friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Curt.

plus one...I have known about his condition for some time and I cannot express the sadness and shock I felt after he told me. I still feel sad every time i'm reminded of it.Curt is a gentle and thoughtful individual.Weather you're a newbie or an expert about our cars, you can always count on Curt to extend a helping hand..He reminds of Bill Williams,Mike Pugh and many others on this board. Class act indeed.

[Napes]

A great loss to his family and to all of us in the community. His knowledge and advise over the years has been invaluable, and I'm glad my wife, son, and I had a chance to spend time with him on a couple of different occasions. Truly, one of the world's good guys.

Bob Napier

[pichos1]

I did not know either; my prayers are with you Kurt.

Get well soon...we need you!

[PatAllen]

dang, thats very very bad !!

i exchanged few e-mails recently with him...didnt knew at all he was that much sick

ill pray for him...

best regards, Curtis.

[beammmer]

I tried to buy an "Ingraham" radiator from Curtis a couple months ago. He said he was too ill to work in a one man shop.

I didn't know if it was my place to notify the FAQ since I needed a radiator. I didn't want to seem shallow.

My Prayers have been with Curtis since my last conversation with him, what a gentleman!!

Don

[rijco]

I understand Curt's difficult decision to terminate treatment in the face of diminishing prospects and I'm very glad he is getting Hospice care now. I hope his remaining time is long, joyful and spirited. I know his name by the generous advice he's provided on this website, including advice he's given me personally.

I know from personal experience that it's a very, very difficult decision for the patient and for family and friends, but at some point quality of life needs to take precedence over the continuation of medical treatment. Many of us are likely to face the same difficult decision in our lives, either regarding ourselves or someone we love, so it's a very fortunate thing that Hospice exists to assist us when the time comes, and that families are willing to speak out about their Hospice experience.

In case some of you may not know, the focus of hospice is to help patients live their lives to the fullest once their condition is terminal and they stop treatments. Hsopice then provides what is called "palliative care", which is a form of treatment focused on making the patient as comfortable as possible and managing pain. Many people associate hospice care with imminent death, but that's a sadly common misunderstanding. Hospice, as practiced by most hospice organizations in the U.S, provides a wide range of medical care and social services, all intended to assist patients and their families in fully living out their remaining days, weeks or months with as much joy, clarity and physical comfort as possible. Hospice is about helping patients live fully while they can. And when dying comes, Hospice is there as well, much to the comfort of families and patients.

I have worked as a board member for the local hospice in my area and I've benefited by their work in my own family. If you know someone who is suffering from a terminal condition, please advice them not to wait to contact hospice until death is imminent. Even doctor's tend to wait entirely too long, afraid they'll be perceived as "giving up" on the patient, so be proactive and contact Hospice early.

My apologies for making a soapbox out of this, but I think Curt and his family would support any effort to get the word out to others about the benefits of Hospice.

[JsnPpp]

Curt, be strong and get well! Our thoughts are with you!

~Jason

[Rick74]

Wow, such awful news. Curt is such a great guy. He has helped me out on several occasions out of the kindness of his heart. Hang in there Curt, our thoughts and prayers are with you...