This repair manual is intended to ensure that the maintenance and repair work required for BMW cars is done in the correct manner. Therefore this manual should be used by inspectors and fitters as it helps to supplement the practical and theoretical knowledge they have acquired at our service training school
The relevant specifications are always provided at the beginning of each main group.
Axle - Front
Axle - Rear
Electrical System - General
Engine - Electrical
Engine and Mechanical
Heat and Air Conditioning
Radio and Antenna
Steering Whee Alignment
Wheels and Tires
Wiring Diagram (Oversized)
I've searched around and haven't seen a thread dedicated to the initial steps of resurrecting a 2002 that has been sitting/abandoned/undriven/unstarted for many years. (if there is such a thread, please link it here). There are the 100 tips which are helpful, but somewhat dated https://www.bmw2002faq.com/forums/topic/41562-light-reading-a-few-tips-myths-lies-truths-and-other-c/#comment-668762
For years we have seen new members appear with a car they've just bought and no experience on how to or where to start. Most times, these threads receive lots of good advice on how the newbie should proceed, but then those threads become lost and we have to start the whole conversation over again. There are basic steps a new owner can proceed with to insure his new project doesn't bog down and I'd like to see a thread that catalogs those tips; starting here.
Please feel free to add comments and direct tips to previous threads or, of course, the Articles Section for specific procedures https://www.bmw2002faq.com/articles.html/technical-articles/
As an example, we have a few new members with early cars in various states of condition and the questions usually start with " what should I do first?"
I usually suggest the following.
Prep yourself with the basics:
Learn how to search FAQ ( this Article is old, but seriously folks, figure it out) https://www.bmw2002faq.com/articles.html/faq-use/how-to-use-search-r171/
Buy a Haynes Manual and spend an evening reading through it so you'll know where to find the info when you need it
Equip your toolbox with the best tools you can afford (proper screwdrivers, metric wrenches, flashlight, telescoping magnet, feeler gauge set, etc...)
Use jack stands every time you are under the car
Have patience and a sense of humor
You just pushed it off the trailer into the driveway and the wife is "thrilled"...now what?
Clean it up...nothing kills motivation faster than a car that looks like crap
Vacuum the inside of all the mouse droppings, dirt, leaves, pine needles, blunts, stems and seeds... Wipe down all the vinyl and glass
Clean the engine bay...this may take several days of concerted effort, old greasy buildup won't surrender easily, but a clean engine is sooooo much more pleasant to work on
Clean the outside...air up the tires, wash and wax it. Washing by hand will allow you to see loose trim, missing screws, cracked window seals, etc...
Step back and envision what it will look like when you are done.
Take stock of what is on the car and what is missing. Make a list and prioritize the project's needs. (should you buy a $500 Petri wheel when the engine doesn't even run yet?)
Take good pictures of the engine bay, suspension, whatever it is you are working on. It can save you from an "oh crap" moment when you're not sure how something goes back together
Compartmentalize your goals to keep from being overwhelmed and know that these projects take time to complete.
Expect delays when parts you need are not available locally and it'll be a week before your web order will arrive. Spend the downtime addressing some other part of the project; but always accomplish something; even if it's simply zip-tieing loose wires under the dash; or maybe you can paint those rusty steel wheels?
For a car that hasn't run in a while.... fix the brakes and steering before you go anywhere
Jack it up as high as you can and place it on jackstands
Before removing the wheels, check for excessive play in the wheel bearings
Remove wheels and inspect every brake component. Bleed the brake/clutch hydraulics. Any wheel that doesn't bleed easily indicates that a soft line or wheel cylinder, or caliper needs replacing. If it leaks, repair/replace
Learn how to adjust the rear brakes and emergency brake...so simple and so important (Haynes manual has a good instructions as does the FAQ)
Repack any bearing that displayed excessive free-play (just do them all for peace of mind)
Inspect all suspension components for worn/cracked rubber bushings. If it's loose, plan to replace it
Old, cracked tires? replace them 13" Kuhmos are what.. $50/each?
Is the exhaust rotted out? Is it hanging loose?
Always change all fluids unless the PO has good records that he'd recently done it, but double check.
Any oil or lube that you drain that is milky or strangely discolored, may indicate water contamination... Not good in any circumstance
Here's a good lube link https://www.bmw2002faq.com/forums/topic/99316-lube-specifications/#comment-276758
Engine oil and filter - you can't go wrong with 20w-50 with ZDDP additive ( I like Valvoline Racing oil) and a Mann or Mahle filter
Transmission fluid - drain it and replace with Redline MTL, or 85/140 mixed 2:1 with ATF, or straight 80W dino-lube
Differential fluid - drain it and replace with Redline 75/90, or 85/140 dino-lube
If the car has been been sitting a very long time, unplug and remove the sending unit, drain the gas tank, and inspect the inside of the tank for rust
Change the fuel filter
Check fuel line hose clamps and replace any rubber fuel line that shows any sign of cracking, or leaking.
Not entirely necessary, but you can remove the top of the carb to check for gunk/debris in the fuel bowl which may give an indication of future running problems
You could also remove the idle jets and blast them with carb cleaner for good measure
Does the car have a mechanical fuel pump or an electric fuel pump? Inspect that it is functioning properly.
Remove the valve cover and inspect the valve train, looking for broken valve springs, rockers, etc... Is there a lot of sludgey-oil build up?
If you can turn the engine over, perform a valve adjustment https://www.bmw2002faq.com/articles.html/technical-articles/engine-and-drivetrain/valve-adjustment-for-bmw-m10-motor-r27/
It has been recommended for engines that have sat for many years that you pull the plugs and give each cylinder a shot of lubrication... some say diesel fuel, or ATF, or engine oil. You are basically trying to lube the cylinder walls prior to turning the old engine over. Use the FAQ search to find out what you think works best for you.
With the valve cover off, set the engine to TDC per the mark on the camshaft and paint your timing marks on the lower pulley and/or the flywheel (check the Haynes manual for these locations.) You WILL thank yourself later when you are setting the timing with a timing light.
With the engine at TDC also confirm the static timing of the distributor.( Again the Haynes manual has description and pictures in the Ignition Section). This will insure that the initial startup goes well.
Replace plugs with new ones... NGK BP6ES seems to be the crowd favorite, or Bosch W7DC. Gapped accordingly... 0.025 with points, or about 0.030 with electronic ignitor like Petronix
Inspect distributor cap and rotor for cracks. If you have points and condensor, install new and gap/dwell accordingly.
Check distributor shaft for excessive axial play (up and down)...worn shaft will make for erratic timing and poor running...something to think about once you are tuning the car up.
Check plug and coil wires. Replace them if cracked
Inspect wiring at coil. All connections should have tight, crimped, spade connections. If anything has loose, electric tape...inspect it and replace with proper connections. This goes for ALL wiring. Any wiring you find with wads of electric tape should be suspect.
Start the engine
With a fresh battery (with good cables and clean connections), fresh gasoline, fresh oil and fresh ignition components... turn the key and crank the engine. If you've done all the prep work, hopefully it fires up! if not, you can start troubleshooting more easily now that you know you have replaced, set tolerances, and checked each item ahead of time. Is there spark? Is there fuel?
Drain radiator and block, remember to open the heater valve (turn the dash lever to hot). The block drain is located on the passenger side of the block, behind the exhaust manifold, below the #3 and #4 exhaust ports... if I remember it's a 17mm bolt. If you remove the bolt and nothing comes out, it's blocked by old, crystalized coolant. Poke it with a stubby screwdriver or wire to clean it out. You must drain the block, though.
Refill cooling system with 50/50 antifreeze and distilled water.
The 2002 is notorious for developing an air bubble in the cooling system after draining the system. When refilling, elevate the front of the car, leave the radiator cap loose and squeeze the upper radiator hose to insure there are no air bubbles. All this while the engine is running.
This is certainly not a comprehensive list but I hope it helps those looking for a way to get started on their new projects. There are so many topics and tips... I hope others will chime in with their favorites; like cleaning all the grounds and light bulb connections because the blinkers don't work.
There were not many variations of BMW 2002 engines that came off the factory floor in Munich 40 years ago, but over the years, people have made some changes, and some things have remained the same. Here is a collection of the types of engines and inductions you would be able to find in a BMW 2002 at your local car show.
This is what things are supposed to look like
1.6L M10 with Solex Single Barrel Water Choke Carburetor on a BMW 1600
2L M10 with Solex Single Barrel Water Choke Carburetor on a BMW 2002
2L M10 with Solex Two Barrel Carburetor
2L M10 with Kugelfischer Mechanical Fuel Injections
2L m10 with Dual Solex Sidedraft Carburetors (2002ti)
M10 with a Factory KKK Turbo and Kugelfischer Mechanical Fuel Injection
Engine Bay After work done by a Tuner prior to the initial sale
M10 With Alpina A4 Intake
Engine Bays with Aftermarket Induction
M10 with 36mm Mikuni Motorcycle Carburetors
M10 With Lynx Manifold and Single Sidedraft Carburetor
M10 With BMW Electronic Fuel Injection from an e21 320i
M10 With BMW Electronic Fuel Injection from a 1979 e21 320i
Individual Throttle Body Fuel Injection
M10 With BMW Electronic Fuel Injection from an e21 320i and a Turbo
BMW m20 6 Cylinder Engine
BMW Euro m20 6 Cylinder Engine
BMW s14 4 Cylinder Engine
Honda f20c Engine
...And something fun
I would love to add more to the list, so if you have a similar style photo of something that is not listed, please add it to the comments.
The Blaupunkt Frankfurt US was certainly the most common radio installed in U.S. '02's. This is a monaural unit. Other Blaupunkt models, especially the Frankfurt Stereo US, were also commonly employed. Intending no slight to other brands of radios installed in U.S. '02's -- Becker, Motorola, Grundig, etc. -- here's a summary of how to date and identify Blaupunkt radios of the era. This is borrowed from a thread commenced on September 3, 2013, entitled "Dating 2002-Era Blaupunkt Radios".
Above is a stock photo of a 1969 model Frankfurt US (Model 7639 670), used in the U.S. 1974 2002 brochure!
I've noticed interest lately, on behalf of some forum members, in using period-appropriate Blaupunkt radios. This comes after decades of removing radios installed by the original dealers in order to install more modern, and generally better-sounding, radios and stereo systems. What goes around, comes around. I personally am also curious about being able to date 2002-era Blaupunkts that lack their original paper labels. Examining examples of Blaupunkt radios with labels enable us to do this.
Let's first descibe the Blaupunkt system for labelling radios of this era. A self-adhered paper label, generally placed on the right side of the unit, identified it by model name, model number, serial number, and country of manufacture (first photo below). Let's look at the details.
Beginning, it would appear, in 1967, the 4th digit of the model number signified the model year of the radio ("model year" as contrasted to "year of manufacture"). Thus:
Note: the "763" numbers immediately above are illustrative; not all model numbers begin "763." And not every model, e.g., Frankfurt, was available as a new or "refreshed" model each year. New models were often introduced two or three years apart.
Moving on from the model year, a letter prefix for the serial number -- in a manner similar to that for Becker radios -- denotes the year of manufacture. By the dawn of the '02 era, 1966, Blaupunkt was nearing the end of an alphabetical series:
X = 1966
Y = 1967
Z = 1968
So they started over in 1969:
A or B = 1969
B = 1970
C = 1971
D = 1972
E = 1973
F = 1974
G = 1975
H = 1976
J = 1977
K = 1978
Therefore, labelled Blaupunkts are easy to date. And labelled 1967-and-later radios actually bear two date indicators: first for the model year; second for the year of manufacture. And as is apparent below from two 1969 model Frankfurt US units, and from two 1975 model Frankfurt Stereo US kits, a model may have been manufactured well beyond its model year.
The second and third photos below show two stacked Frankfurt US units. The top, unlabelled unit, is a 1971 model Frankfurt US (763"1" 627 000, based upon an identically-labelled unit shown by JohnH elsewhere in this thread). The bottom is a 1969 model Frankfurt US (763"9" 670), manufactured in 1971 ("C" prefix to the serial number). But if you return to the first photo below, you'll see another 1969 model Frankfurt US (763"9" 670). But that example was manufactured in 1970 ("B" prefix to the serial number). The fourth and fifth photos below show two stacked 1975 model Frankfurt Stereo US Kits (763"5" 421 012). The top unit was manufactured in 1975 ("G" prefix to the serial number) and the bottom unit was manufactured in 1976 ("H" prefix to the serial number).
The last two photos below, i.e., the sixth and seventh, show probably the last German-manufactured U.S.-spec radio of the '02 era, a 1976 model Frankfurt Stereo US Kit (763"6" 421 012). This example was manufactured in 1978 ("K" prefix to the serial number), and I've not yet seen an example manufactured in 1976, but I'm confident a few are out there.
Many facets of the faceplates and pushbuttons changed over time. The blue dot or point (as in "blau punkt") appeared and later moved during this period. The "Blaupunkt" name shifted locations. The number of station numbers represented, along with the actual choice of station numbers, transitioned over time. "Stereo" changed from vertical to horizontal.
Pushbuttons moved from black with white letters to black with silver and black applied labels. And then they came up with the clunky "combined" AM/FM buttons of the 1976 model. The FM scale went from a reverse orientation -- higher numbers on the left, lower numbers on the right -- to a more expected low-to-high orientation. (FM scales that end at 104 rather than 108 signify European versions: the European countries use a slightly narrower FM range.) The spacing of the scales' call numbers changed. And there were more changes, no doubt, such as to the size of the housings.
Feel free to add photos of Blaupunkts, along with their identification labels, below.
The suspensions are the same. 1600s from 1966 - 68 lacked rear sway bar mounts on the subframe, although they can be easily attached. In 69 they equipped the 1600 with front and rear sway bars just like the 2002.
All 1600s (except the 1600ti) had smaller rear drums (200mm vs. the 230mm of 2002) The first couple hundred 2002s off the production line in 68 also had the smaller 200mm rear drums. The larger 230mm drums of the 02 were adopted from the 1600ti. 66-68 1600s used the earlier style remote brake booster. In 69 the 1600s were equipped with the more familiar brake booster which first appeared on the 68 2002. The 68 2002 and 69 1600 use the same brake master with attached fluid reservoir. All 02s up until about mid 69 used single circuit and single piston brake calipers, identical on both 1600s and 2002s. In mid 69 both models received the 2 piston calipers.
Rear subframes on both models were designed for the longneck differential up until late 69. The 1600 used the 4.10 diff while the 2002 used the 3.64 ratio. Many other ratios were available if specially ordered. Some 1600ti's used the 3.90 longneck diff. In 1970 both cars were being equipped with the newer short neck diffs and corresponding subframes.
Driveshafts differed on the 2 models up until both models received the short neck diffs sometime in 1970. From that year both models used the same driveshaft. All 1600s with longneck diffs used a unique driveshaft with a telescopic - sliding center section and no u-joints. These driveshafts used 3 6 hole guibos and corresponding 3 hole flanges on the tranny and diff. Longneck 2002s (1968-mid 69) used a similar driveshaft with the telescopic - sliding center section, but differing from the 1600 driveshaft in that it used u-joints at midpoint and rear. Up front at tranny the 8 hole guibo with corresponding 4 hole flange on the tranny was incorporated. A 4 hole flange at the diff was also used. The switch to u-joints was done due to higher torque of the 2 liter motor.
Transmissions also differed up until the factories switch to the short neck diff in 1970. Prior to this year both cars used the smoother shifting Porsche-Synchroed trannies. The 2002 tranny, though, used a longer shift fork to clear the larger 8 hole guibo. You can use most trannies on a 1600 (given you also switch the flanges - all being of coarse splined design - some late 02 trannies were fine splined), but you can't use an early (66-69) 1600 tranny on a 2002 because the shorter shift fork can't clear the larger guibo. All trannies and driveshafts were standardized when the factory switched to the short-neck diff.
All 1600s and 2002s with the single piston calipers also used a unique inner front wheel bearing. This bearing has the same outside diameter as the later bearings, but the inner diameter is 2mm larger from the later style. The spindle at this inner point is 2mm beefier than later models.
The very early 1966-67 1600s used a different style muffler and resonator. In 68 they standardized the exhausts on both cars. Exhaust
and intake manifolds are different on both cars. The single barrel carbs differ in that the 1600 uses the 38mm butterfly while the 2002 uses the 40mm. Chokes and jets on the two single barrels also differ.
There are many cosmetic differences between the early and later cars.
For many car builders the 24 Hours of LeMans endurance race is the ultimate test of performance, reliability, driver skill and pit stop strategy. Organized by the Automobile Club de L'ouest, it has been held at the Circuit de la Sarthe in LeMans, France since 1923. BMW first entered the race in 1937 with a single 328 roadster sporting a 2 liter straight six. Disappointingly, it only completed 8 laps.
Lessons learned, the proud Bavarians returned in 1939, the last running of the race before the outbreak of WWII. This time they brought a team of two 328 roadsters and one aerodynamic 'touring coupe'. They swept the 2 liter class, taking first, second and third.
The team celebrates its 1939 sweep.
The 'touring coupe' took first in class after 236 laps. Roadsters finished 2nd and 3rd.
Fast-forward 33 years. In 1972 a 2800 CS was entered by the Freilassing, Bavaria based Schnitzer team. Even with experienced drivers Hans Heyer and René Herzog at the wheel, the CS failed to last 24 hours. This was the era of fierce track battles between well-financed BMW and Ford of Germany.
1973 saw the BMW Motorsport team field three CSLs against the Ford team of V6 powered RS Capris. At the end of a grueling race the 3.0 CSL of Hezemans and Quester emerged victorious in the 'Touring Special' (TS) class. The three Fords had all broken, but so had the other two BMWs.
The Bavarian manufacturer repeated the win for a second time in 1974. The CSL of French drivers Aubriet and Depine took the Touring class laurels, outlasting the Shark Team Ford Capri of Guerie and Fornage. Both teams would be back the next year for a rematch. Which brings us to the year in question - 1975. Surprisingly, the one and only year when a BMW 2002 was entered at LeMans.
The unsuccessful Team Schnitzer 2800 CS entry of 1972.
The 1973 TS class winning 3.0 CSL of Hezemans and Quester on the crowded pit lane
The 1974 CSL of Aubriet and Depine gave BMW its second TS class trophy.
1975: The 43rd running of the 24 Hours
Sponsored by Gitanes cigarettes. Most of the 80,000 spectators got a free pack.
BMW eagerly anticipated a third consecutive Touring class trophy. Aubriet and Depine were back in a powerful 3.5 liter 3.0 CSL, hoping lightning would strike twice for them at the revered 8.5 mile track. A second factory CSL was driven by American Sam Posey along with Frenchmen Hervé Poulin and Jean Guichet. It was the very first of BMW's legendary 'art cars'. It wore a vibrant primary color scheme designed by American abstract expressionist Alexander Calder. A third CSL to be driven by experienced 2002 driver Aime Dirand was officially entered but did not materialize.
Instead, the third and final BMW entry into the Touring Special class was a privateer 2002ti. This unlikely and remarkable car was the culmination of effort by a driver from France, an engine builder from the tiny Principality of Liechtenstein, and a little help from a certain Bavarian factory in the form of a forgotten project.
Note the Heidegger and Kleber patches on Brillat's driving suit.
The 2002's road to LeMans 1975 actually started in June of the previous year. In '74, Daniel Brillat found himself the lone French driver on a Swiss team. The team had entered the 24 hour race with a tube frame Chevron B23/26 powered by a Ford Cosworth 1.8 liter 4 cylinder. Running 4:13 laps in the S 2.0 class, the Cosworth lost a piston ring and was a DNF.
Brillat was born at the end of WWII in the village of Vieu, in the Rhone-Alpes region of France near the Swiss border. He may have been born in the crisp mountain air but he had gasoline in his blood. Like any French boy who loved cars, his dream was to win at LeMans. Justifiably disappointed with his '74 DNF, yet equally motivated, Brillat contacted a skilled engine builder he had heard about in the quaint town of Triesen, Liechtenstein.
MAX HEIDEGGER OF LIECHTENSTEIN
The tiny Principality on the border of Switzerland was home to Max Heidegger BMW. Herr Heidegger built competition 2002s mainly for hillclimbing and ferocious versions of the M10 engine for Formula 2 cars. Monsieur Brillat wanted one of Heidegger's potent and reliable F2 specification 1990cc motors for a car to contest the LeMans S 2.0 class. But what chassis to put it in? Heidegger and Brillat discussed the goals and financial limitations of the project.
Brillat brought with him a useful sponsorship deal from French tire maker Kleber, but sadly not an unlimited budget. The tubular race chassis of the S 2.0 class were out of reach so the Touring Special class was considered. But TS was the domain of the six cylinder CSLs and Capris.
Being a BMW dealer, Heidegger had heard through the grapevine of two factory 2002ti chassis fitted with M12 F2 specification engines. He put feelers out to Munich about a possible LeMans attempt with the venerable 4 cylinder. Combined with a stiffened, lightened 2002 shell, he thought it would be capable of being fast enough to qualify for the race and sturdy enough to run the full 24 hour gauntlet.
The factory F2 prototypes featured very thirsty Kugelfischer injection.
The factory had considered such an option but was focussing on the glamorous CSLs and their high-profile battle with Ford. But knowing Heidegger to be a loyal BMW representative, and a very serious builder of equally serious 2002s, they relented and sold him and Brillat one of their 2 prototypes. The abandoned project was dusted off and trucked the 150 miles to Liechtenstein.
INTO THE WORKSHOP
Heidegger completely stripped the factory car down to its individual components and rebuilt it to the strict ACO specifications. French sanctioning bodies love their rules and many cars have been disqualified from LeMans for not following them precisely. Max had ideas, borne from experience and ingenuity, of how to squeeze every performance efficiency from the BMW engine and chassis.
With a full roll cage, chassis bracing and high capacity gas tanks installed the car had to meet a minimum weight requirement of 2200 pounds (1000 kilograms). New for '75 was a requirement to complete at least 20 laps between refueling stops. During pit stops and driver changes the engine had to be turned off and restarted under its own power. Heidegger relocated the alternator so it would be driven from the driveshaft, reducing load on the forged crank, high compression engine.
Heidegger M10 F2 spec engine
The expertly ported and polished cylinder head was topped with a ribbed aluminum valve cover proudly displaying the builder's name. Underneath, the revised cams worked in perfect unison with lightened, enlarged valves and springs. Intake came courtesy of dual Italian Dell'Orto side-draft carburetors mounted to custom cast manifolds. Ceramic coated tubular headers were smoothed and maximized in diameter for optimal flow of the spent racing fuel.
All this effort resulted in 260 bhp at an 8500 rpm redline. 130 horsepower per liter, 2.1 bhp per cubic inch. Impressive, but could it keep spinning for 1440 relentless minutes? Given Heidegger's literal track record of reliable F2 engines, the outlook was bright.
Further tipping the scales in favor of success was the enthusiastic cooperation of Kleber tires. They found the ideal rubber for the 2002's wide magnesium ATS wheels, perfectly housed within handsome box-flared fenders. Extensive tire tests were conducted on Brillat's home turf of France. Daniel was immensely pleased with the outcome of Heidegger's and Kleber's tremendous work. Now to the task of assembling a capable team of endurance drivers to match the capabilities of the car.
A TEAM OF DRIVERS
ACO rules stipulate a minimum of 2 drivers per car. 29 year old team boss Daniel Brillat picked a friend from Switzerland to join him behind the wheel. Michel Degoumois was an aspiring 25 year old driver from the beautiful Swiss city of Geneva. It would be his first appearance at LeMans. Together Daniel and Michel would drive in shifts to cover the long day of racing.
At the last possible minute, a third driver was added to the roster. This driver brought significantly more experience to the team. Achieving the dream of all Italian boys with motor oil in their veins, Giancarlo Gagliardi had raced for two prominent Ferrari endurance teams. By age 31 he had driven for both Scuderia Filipinetti and the famous N.A.R.T. (North American Racing Team) of Luigi Chinetti. Like Brillat, Gagliardi had suffered the indignity of a DNF at the '74 LeMans, but in his case with a Ferrari in the top S 3.0 class.
Gagliardi was once again to drive a NART Ferrari in the '75 race. However, the ACO butted heads with NART boss Chinetti and he pulled out his entire team of four formidable Ferraris just hours before the start. This left the talented Italian driver available to join Brillat and Degoumois.
Swiss novice Michel Degoumois
Late addition to the team was veteran Giancarlo
Gagliardi from Italy
Gagliardi was supposed to drive this Ferrari Dino 308 GT4. When the NART team withdrew it left him looking for a ride.
Qualifying for the ’75 LeMans was severely complicated by new fuel consumption regulations introduced by the ACO. A response to the historic OPEC fuel crisis of the time, the rules proved to be an unpopular gesture of concern and resulted in LeMans being dropped from the world championships. Entrants had to prove they could cover 168 miles (20 laps) without refueling, then run a qualifying lap fast enough to claim one of the 65 spots on the grid.
For the 2002 this meant driving for one hour and forty minutes under the watchful eyes of the ACO scrutineers without a fuel stop. With that task accomplished during the daylight, qualifying laps then had to be taken at night. These far-from-ideal requirements caused much consternation among the teams and were the cause of Luigi Chinetti's argument with the ACO. He subsequently pulled all 4 of his NART Ferraris in protest of the qualifying procedures.
With help from its Dell'Orto carbs the Heidegger car passed the fuel economy test. It then covered the 8.47 mile (13,640 meter) course in 4 minutes and 47 seconds. An average speed of 106 mph (171 kph). It earned the 65th, and final, place on the starting grid. It had beaten out two other TS cars for the final spot: one of the Shark Team Ford Capris and a Chrysler Hemi 'Cuda which struggled with a 5:15 lap time.
The number 94 Shark Team Capri couldn't match the pace of the 2002 and didn't make the cut.
The Chrysler V8 'Cuda would seem an unlikely member of the TS class. De-tuned to meet the fuel consumption
requirements, it was way off the pace.
Three other Touring cars were entered on paper but failed to appear: the #92 BMW CSL of Dirand, the #96 Ford Capri of Bonnemaison (who dropped the Capri in favor of a GT class Porsche 911), and a Mazda RX3 (#97) with an all-Japanese team of drivers. From a possible field of ten Touring Special entries, only 5 had jumped through all the hoops to qualify and race: two factory CSLs, the Heidegger 2002ti, one of the Shark Team Capris, and a French-driven Mazda RX3.
THE STARTING GRID
The Heidegger car takes its place on the last row. David versus Goliaths.
Mishaps, arguments and mechanical failures during post-qualifying practice sessions resulted in only 55 cars making the actual starting grid on Saturday afternoon. This still meant the 2002 started dubiously on the very last row. It had been assigned race number 91. All entries in the TS class carried numbers in the 90s.
The BMW was alongside another Touring Special class entry, the Mazda RX3 (#98). Propelled by a twin 12A rotary of 1.2 liters, the wankel wonder qualified three seconds faster than the BMW with a time of 4:44. This was the third year that the 12A rotary engine had been run at LeMans. It was piloted by Frenchmen Claude Bouchet and LeMans legend Jean Rondeau. Rondeau was a highly skilled driver who went on to build his own prototype cars. He won a stunning overall victory at LeMans in 1980, the only driver ever to win in a car of his own design and making.
The potent Mazda of Bouchet and Rondeau started alongside the 2002 on the last row.
There were three more Touring class entries far ahead of them. Fittingly, the fastest was the flashy Posey, Poulin, Guichet 'art car' CSL (#93) which was an extraordinarily high 10th on the grid with a time of 4:06 and 124mph (200kph) average speed. The paint job must have been worth 100 extra horsepower. Calder would die just 5 months later knowing that he had created the fastest painting in the world.
Second fastest TS car was the other CSL (#90) of defending class champions Aubriet and Depine. Painted in traditional BMW Motorsport livery it had a time of 4:19 and placed 27th on the grid. Although heavier than the 2002, the CSLs were rumored to be making an astounding 410bhp from their 3.5 liters.
The third most rapid Touring car was the only Shark Team Ford entry to qualify. It was the V6 Capri RS of Guérie and Fornage who had lost a clutch after 16 hours of redline shifting the previous year. It was the fourth year in a row that the Shark Team had taken on LeMans, and this time the Shark was out for BMW blood. Wearing number 95 it lurked in the 16th row, 32nd on the grid with a time of 4:22. Lighter than the CSL the Ford's 2995cc V6 had been tweaked to make in excess of 320bhp.
From the grid of 55 cars, 5 were vying for Touring Special victory. The next 24 hours would decide their fate.
A production car among prototypes, an amazing 10th on the grid.
The 2nd fastest TS car placed 27th on the grid.
The only Ford Capri challenger started on the 16th row in the 32nd spot.
The drama and chaos of the standing start. The Touring class BMW art car is up front with the big boys. The 2002 is on the back row. Car #26 stalled and
would not get going for 5 long minutes.
The cloudless blue sky held up a blazing summer sun. 80,000 spectators smoked their free Gitanes cigarettes while 55 helmeted drivers baked in the heat. Finally, after the pomp and ceremony of a dozen national anthems it was time for the rubber to meet the 13,640 meter road. Following a slow lap designed to further warm up both the tires and the crowd, the field regrouped to take the starter's flag exactly as the clock struck four.
Even though a stalled Lola T284 on the third row created an unexpected obstacle, it was a clean start free of collisions. During the opening laps, cars began exhibiting teething problems and the pit row started to fill. A Porsche was disqualified for adding oil, violating ACO rules banning additional fluids in the first hour.
The Posey-driven art car CSL was forced into the pits to investigate a fuel starvation issue. Caused by a faulty gas tank vent, a valuable lap was lost on pit lane correcting it. Just 45 minutes into the race, only eight cars were on the lead lap.
Predictably, it wasn't long before the Heidegger 2002 started getting lapped by the Team Gulf Mirages, Ligiers, Lolas, Porsches and Ferraris making up the 5 other classes of faster cars ( S 3.0, S 2.0, GT, GTS, and GTX). Maintaining a competitive speed, dicing with the RX3, chasing the Capri and avoiding contact with faster cars as they passed took Brillat's full concentration. All the while keeping an eye on fuel consumption.
What a sound the free-breathing BMW made going down the 6 kilometer, tree-lined back straight at 140mph. Even so, Brillat and his co drivers knew they lacked the top speed to match the six cylinder CSLs and solitary Capri RS. Their secret weapons would be reliability, consistency, and hour upon hour of smooth, clean driving.
The nimble ti keeps ahead of a Porsche 911 Carrera of the GT class.
Just after 7pm, a mere 3 hours into the race, a lack of the aforementioned clean driving claimed the first Touring Special class victim. It was the #90 BMW CSL of defending TS champion Jean-Claude Aubriet. The accident left the driver with only a bruised ego, but the car could not be repaired within the ACO rules and was withdrawn. Four cars remained in the Touring Special class.
Meanwhile, American Sam Posey was enjoying an inspired drive in the Calder art car. By 8pm he was in a stunning sixth place overall with only the fastest of the prototypes in front of him. Jochem Neerpasch, head of BMW Motorsports, started to have visions of an upset overall victory.
Other TS teams were not having it so good, namely the Shark team Ford Capri of Frenchmen Guérie and Fornage. Pushing too hard to match Posey's pace, the Ford's strained V6 let go. This marked the end of the Capri era at LeMans. The following year Porsche would become BMW's new arch rival.
As 9pm approached the French summer sun disappeared beneath the horizon. 46 cars remained in the race. Three of those cars raced into the encroaching darkness hungry for Touring class glory. For the next few perilous, moonlit hours, yellow headlights (as per French law) illuminated the track and filled the mirrors of the Heidegger 2002.
Not long after sunset, bad luck came calling again for BMW. The art car CSL was to become a casualty of its own blistering pace when a driveshaft CV joint disintegrated, taking the transmission with it. Hopefully it didn't scratch the paint. Stranded miles from the pits, Posey was unable to return for repairs.
Thus ended the Calder CSL's first and last race appearance. An upset victory over the prototypes, or a TS trophy, was not to be. The priceless car was retired to the BMW museum. Herr Neerpasch would have to wait until 1989 to win LeMans overall with the Sauber Mercedes team, having been unfortunately let go by the BMW Motorsports program which he had helped found.
Now just 44 cars remained on track. The wankel-engined Mazda was the only challenger left standing between the BMW 2002 and victory in the Touring class. Sunrise would be in just a few hours at 4:45 am Paris time. LeMans is scheduled close to, and sometimes on, the summer solstice. This allows for the maximum amount of daylight driving hours.
The car from the 'land of the rising sun' thought it would get to see the sunrise. However, still under the cover of darkness the unconventional motor of the RX3 seized. It would be another 16 years before Mazda would become the first and only rotary engine and first and only Japanese manufacturer to win overall at LeMans.
The Heidegger 2002 had made it safely through the night and greeted the dawn as undisputed leader of the Touring Special class. Eleven hours to go. The night had taken a toll on the field, and of the 55 starters only 37 were still competing. The morning sky was overcast and cool, a nice change from the heat of the start. A brief rain shower brought out the wet and intermediate tires, but also washed some of the bugs from the nose of the BMW. The 4 cylinder ti may have had no direct competition left in class but it was now racing, in a very real way, against the overall leading V8 cars.
This is where the ACO rulebook once again rears its ugly head. To be categorized as a finisher, a car must cover at least 70% of the distance attained by the overall winner. The lead Team Gulf cars had set a healthy pace with their 3 liter Ford Cosworths. Even though the F1 design V8s had been detuned to meet the fuel rules, the British-built Gulfs were already 50 laps ahead of the Heidegger 2002.
There could be no letting up to help preserve the Heidegger F2 engine. The BMW would have to maintain an aggressive pace up until the very end to be categorized as a finisher. Over the remaining ten hours, the Gulfs and their main Ligier and Porsche competition continued to lap the nimble BMW relentlessly.
Eventually the tally of passes made by the leading Team Gulf car was pushed to 85. As the BMW pressed on undeterred, cars in the faster classes continued to fall by the wayside. By 3pm on Sunday, with one hour to go, the field had been reduced to 30 tenacious survivors. An alarming attrition rate of almost 50%.
The victorious Gulf Mirage of LeMans legends Derek Bell and Jacky Ickx would take the checkered flag for the overall win on their 336th lap. A distance of 4595 kilometers at an average speed of 191 kph. The Heidegger 2002 crossed the finish line at 4pm Sunday the 15th of June having put 251 laps under the belts of its Kleber tires. In total, 3430 kilometers at an average speed 143 kph. 214 kilometers over the 70% required to be officially classified as a LeMans finisher.
The British Team Gulf takes the overall win. A French Ligier is second followed by the other Gulf Mirage GR8.
The Heidegger team had done it. Not only was the 2002 certified as the 27th finisher out of 55 starters, it was proclaimed the winner of the Touring Special class. The 2002 gave the TS title to BMW for the third consecutive year. The 2002's first and only appearance on the hallowed ground of the Circuit de la Sarthe had garnered the sought-after class victory.
The champagne must have tasted sweet that Sunday afternoon. Daniel Brillat, Giancarlo Gagliadi and Michel Degoumois got the laurel wreaths, the trophy and their names forever on the honor roll of LeMans winners. What every French, Swiss and Italian boy dreams of.
Michel drinks from a magnum, Daniel is in the hat and Giancarlo wears the light blue driving suit. They have been given
swank new BMW Motorsports jackets from M guru Jochem Neerpasch (dark jacket on right). Hard-earned swag indeed.
Of the 55 cars that took the green flag, only 30 had what it took to go the distance. The first-in-class BMW 2002ti placed 27th overall, well ahead of 3 technically much faster cars; a Porsche 911 RSR, a Lola T292 and a March 75S.
For 1976 BMW showed up with no less than 7 CSLs. They won the Touring Special class for an enviable fourth successive time with a 3.0CSL. A 3.5 liter CSL finished 4th in the new ‘Group 5’ category against a fleet of Porsche 911s.
The 1976 TS class winner. 3.0 CSL driven by Ravenel.
Daniel Brillat was associated with two teams in ’76. With Gagliardi he ran a Lola Ford Cosworth team. It won the S 2.0 class. With Michel Degoumois he actually drove in the same S 2.0 class with a Swiss-made Cheetah G601. It withdrew due to a bad CV joint. That was a real shame because the engine was a jewel-like beauty: a BMW M12 1999cc F2 motor. Brillat would return with another Cheetah chassis in 1979, this time with an ill-fated Chrysler/Simca engine.
Max Heidegger went on to even greater fame as a BMW F2 and F1 engine builder par excellence. Unlike the Calder art car CSL, which ended up in a museum, the Heidegger car was eventually parted out for other projects. The body shell was unceremoniously scrapped. Not the fate it deserved.
The sister prototype car from the factory was sold to in-house driver Achim Warmbold and rallied with M12 power fed by Kugelfischer injection. Fortunately it was spared a visit to the wrecking yard crusher, instead spending 20 years forgotten in an Irish barn. Thankfully that car survives to this day, as does Heidegger's BMW dealership and tuning shop.
You can still visit Max in picturesque, tiny Liechtenstein. Small and beautiful, just like the 2002. And never to be underestimated.
The other factory prototype in KWS Grain Co. / Radio Luxembourg livery. Note the same ATS magnesium wheels. It was last sold in 2015 for $160,000.
Sponsors include Marchal, Bosch, Bilstein, and Kleber. Note the light to illuminate the race number and the TS class designation on the door. BMW Motorsport roundels
can be seen on the windshield banner and the C pillars. The black hood, belt line and trunk, commonly seen on rally cars, has been augmented by the tricolor Motorsports stripe.
Gagliardi behind the wheel.
Brillat takes another lap.
Degoumois takes his turn at the controls.
The Aubriet CSL in traditional BMW Motorsport colors. It would be the first
car to retire from the TS class.
The stunning Calder 'art' car. Note the lack of sponsor stickers. The colors speak for themselves. Behind them on the grid is a Lola T292 (#29) and
a Cheetah G501 (#37) both from the S 2.0 class.
Art, literally, in motion.
The fastest car in the TS category. It would last 5 hours.
Who wouldn't want this at their fingertips?
A Heidegger hill climb car on the way to one of many victories.
A Heidegger prepared hill climb car showing off for the crowd.
A canyon-carving Heidegger prepared 2002.
Mazda RX3 at LeMans. It outlasted the CSLs and Ford, but not our mighty 2002.
RX3 during qualifying. Its sister car number 97 did not make the starting grid.
The lone and lonely Ford Capri RS V6 along the pit straight. '75 was the end of the Capri era at LeMans.
The Capri was the 2nd TS car to break, lasting only 4 hours.
Hey, you've just won LeMans 1975, what are you going to do next? Get ready for LeMans 1976.
A little oversteer never hurt anybody...
Catch me if you can...
"Look mum, no hands!" Englishman Derek Bell takes the first of his five victories at LeMans.
Custom cast manifold. A little rough on the outside, but polished smooth as silk on the inside.
Dell'Orto carbs replaced 'the too-thirsty-for-LeMans' Kugelfischer.
1973 Touring Special winner.
1974 TS winner
1975 TS winner
Driver change for a Heidegger car at Hockenheim.
Nice day for a little drive in the Alps.
The sister prototype during an Irish rally.
Overall winner Derek Bell gets ready to head out of town with his trophies. Yes, that's right, in a BMW.....
Thought is good idea to make this valuable document that was created by others several years ago more readily available to everyone.
Same as original document with a few updates in Excel format:
P.S. Personally want to thank WILLIAMGGRUFF for creating google spreadsheet in first place and maintaining this document. Future updates, corrections, etc. should be addressed to his attention.
Replacing all fuses is cheap insurance against electrical failure.
Bosch rebuilds are the only one to consider.
BMW dealers often have the best prices under their factory rebuilt program.
Reversing wires on front turn signals can result in working signals but no dash indicators.
Erratic gauges can often be traced to a bad ground, either on the instrument cluster itself, or engine to frame.
Too tight belts destroy water pumps; tighten only enough to run the alternator.
If you run 32/36 Weber conversion, using the stock air cleaner with an adapter can result in increased drivability.
Replacing the front lower door molding plastic clip with the metal retainer used on the other end of the molding helps prevent the door trim from falling off when opening the door.
Never install driving lights without using a relay; wiring damage and fires often result.
Increased offset wheels are hard on bearings. Service them more often.
For better handling cheap 320i rims can be used, 325 alloys are a good bet for a cheap +1 conversion.
A 320i radiator is as good or better than the 2002 part it is lighter, and the whole conversion costs $50.00 less than the 2002 radiator alone.
If your 2002 runs hot, and the radiator is more than 2 years old, replace it.
Never ignore a bad drive shaft coupling (Guibo). To do so can destroy the transmission case.
320i rear drum brakes will bolt onto a 2002 for much improved braking.
Braided metal brake lines are more durable and perform better, and cost little more than stock parts.
Do not resurface a bad brake disc, replace it.
Use of non-original rear brake linings may result in a parking brake which cannot be adjusted.
Check exhaust manifold studs regularly; the front stud seals an oil passage and its loss can cause fires and sudden engine failure.
When buying a 2002, check for excess engine movement; more than mild vibration may indicate a broken frame mount it can be fixed but it is quite a job.
Check the rear sub-frame regularly; they have been known to rust through even on otherwise rust-free cars This can lead to a big, dirty job and parts are getting hard to find.
To get drag-race-style acceleration from a 2002, use the gears from a 1976, but be prepared for lots of noise at cruising speeds.
BMW O.E. exhaust systems are the longest lasting and most quiet you will find.
Do not discard the plastic cover when making door repairs; its job is to keep water out of the car.
To restore smooth acceleration action, clean grit from under the pedals, lube the ball mounts and replace the nylon bushing on the accelerator rod.
Check shifter mount bolts regularly; loose bolts can cause noise and difficult shifting.
Rebuilding a shifter with new springs and bushings job results in much better shifting.
Re-using gaskets is false economy.
Using headers without a rear mount usually results in premature flange failure.
Rebuilding a brake caliper without sleeving is a waste of time; buying new units is a better bet.
Try changing brands of oil if your 2002 is using oil.
Tailpipe smoke on deceleration usually means valve seal problems.
The 320i can be a cheap source of Recaro seats for your 2002.
Drain your speedometer cable; it collects water.
The factory made the best shop manual; it is bi-lingual and has lots of pictures.
To prevent rust, clear grit from under front fenders, especially on top of signal lights and at the trailing edge brace.
2002s run fine on unleaded fuel.
2002 aluminum bumpers are expensive, but may be refinished fairly inexpensively.
Use BMW filters.
Change brake fluid at least annually. More often if you do driver schools.
Use BMW anti-freeze, use distilled water for batteries and cooling systems.
BMW no longer makes a 2002 battery that fits, Sears does, and it is cheaper.
Use tool handle dip on metal moulding clips to prevent rust.
Use compressed air to blow moisture from behind trim.
Change rubber fuel lines at the first sign of aging.
Use the Bosch blue coil.
Consider changing to an electronic ignition.
The adapter kit for a late Chrysler New Yorker will allow the mounting of a din style radio in a 2002 console.
Use the metal or nylon shift boot retainer; the styrene plastic style breaks.
There is a lot of room for stereo gear under the back seat.
If a lock must be replaced, a locksmith can re-key it to match the others.
Shift levers are available in black or chrome and will interchange.
If radio reception is poor, try replacing the antenna. They deteriorate with age.
When an electric switch fails, try cleaning the contacts before replacing.
Remove bumpers and clean behind them annually.
Repco Metal Master brake pads work well.
Aluminum bumpers can sometimes be revived with steel wool and a buffer with a wool pad.
Grills are easier to clean when off the car.
Flush European turn signals are available for a sleeker look.
A smaller steering wheel gives a quicker steering feel.
On long trips, carry a "road kit" including:
Fuses and bulbs
Oil and water
Belts and hoses
Gasket in a tube
Distributor tune up parts. (It may be overkill, but then I've never been stuck, either.)
A fuel filter can be spliced into a broken fuel line to limp home.
Even without a road kit, at least carry a fuel filter.
Don't slam doors; it is hard on door checks and windows.
Broken rivets cause most window mechanism failures; Mercedes sells a repair rivet.
Not replacing broken door checks can cause jammed or broken windows.
A 530i starter will give you a lot more starting torque.
530i master cylinders give better stopping.
Check floor pans carefully; BMW undercoating hides a lot of rust.
Tail light gaskets are a frequent cause of trunk leaks.
Check the air pressure in your spare.
Bellows style shift boots last longer than the fake leather type.
Clean out the pedal box, check for rust and debris and enjoy smoother pedal action.
If the transmission must be removed, put in a new clutch disc as cheap insurance.
A good tight four speed can use ATF for easier shifting.
Use genuine BMW Guibo couplings.
Shop prices; even dealer prices vary widely.
Buy 2002 parts you may need now; many parts go NLA (no longer available) monthly.
Use automotive grade hardware; you'll be thankful
2002s have little tire clearance: 185/70 x 13, 205/60x13 and 195/50x15 are about as far as you can go, but there is much variance between individual cars and brands of tires.
Rotary compressors give much improved air conditioner performance.
New Roundel badges are a cheap way to spruce up the appearance of your 2002.
Black spark plug wire can replace discolored "chrome" window trim.
The fuel injection system for a 318i can be adapted to a 2002, giving better reliability and economy than carburetors, and less trouble and expense than the tii system.
Do not substitute anything else for fuel line.
Use Dot 4 brake fluid.
Before doing expensive suspension work, consider a full stock rebuild; it is amazing how well a perfect stock 2002 will handle.
Adjust your steering box to eliminate "play"; the factory manual shows you how.
An upholstery shop can replace the rotted cardboard on otherwise good door panels.
Quartz stop light bulbs can prevent rear end collisions.
Dim taillights can be caused by corroded reflectors.
If used hard, 10,000 miles is not too often to adjust valves.
You don't want dual carburetors on your street car, trust me.
If your 2002 wears a bra, put soft cloth scraps under the hooks to prevent scratching.
For best stereo performance, use large wire; many systems are compromised with small, cheap wire.
Short springs seriously compromise the street-ability of a 2002.
A 320i differential can be adapted to a 2002 to get access to the much more prevalent limited slip differentials.
Not driving a 2002 is the worst thing you can do to it.
Remove battery for winter storage.
Use WD-40 to displace moisture in hood, door and trunk edge seams.
Always wave to other 2002 owners.
Author: Scott Chamberlain
BMW CCA's Roundel September 1993
Download the PDF.
Some years ago I purchased assorted manuals from the son of a gentleman who had recently died. The gentleman had worked for a UK BMW dealer in their service department. Among the manuals were two volumes of Service Information bulletins.
I have scanned them and converted them into pdf files.
They cover the full range of BMW cars available at the time.
They fall into three sub categories covering a period from late 1969 to early 1972;
1. Service Promotion - General bulletins issued by Bayerische Motoren Werke, Munichen.
I will insert a contents here
2. Service Department - Technical bulletins issued by BMW Concessionaires G.B. Ltd
I will insert a contents here
3. Technical Customer Service - Technical bulletins issued by Bayerische Motoren Werke, Munichen.
I will insert a contents here
Technical Customer Service Part 1 478 to 516.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 2 517 to 534.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 3 535 to 579.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 4 580 to 611.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 5 612 to 643.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 6 644 to 682.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 7 683 to 710.pdf
Technical Customer Service Part 8 711 to 724.pdf
I know I said that I would insert a Contents for each section, but frankly its going to be a lot of work, so I'm not sure if I will ever get around to it. Time will tell.
4. Service-Information - Group 11, Engine June 1986
Tightening Procedure for Cyl. Head.pdf
Written by Otis
Tuesday, 19 September 2006
How to Win a BMWCCA Concours Event -- Eight Easy Steps for the Sure-Fire Winning Combination
Rule No. 1: Silly wabbit, you can't win a BMWCCA Concours Event. Not unless you have won before. If you have won before, then you may win again. But if you have not won, you may not win. Sorry, it's in the rules. The lone exception? If you have never won before, and this is your first event, then you may place third. But no higher. You see, this way, you will be encouraged to enter again, this time, using more expensive wax. And after all, the Club needs your $20, so that it can buy trophies for the past winners. Whom as noted above, are permitted to win again.
Rule No. 2: Please make certain that everything on your car is stock. And we mean, 100% stock. Well, except for the engine - you can swap out the engine. And the brakes. Well, okay, those Recarros are okay, too. And alright, the AC Schnitzer kit is pretty cool, so that's okay. And needless to say, if you put a supercharger under the hood, you get a trophy, period (hey, you can check it -- it's in the rules!). But otherwise, your car better be stock -- and we mean stock! Indeed, if you put any of those obnoxious subwoofers in the trunk, then you lose points, bucko -- big time! In fact, you're lucky we don't DQ your butt, you obnoxious, ground-pounding, thumping butt-brain!
Rule No. 3: You must not have any lint in your AC vents. Period. Of all the things that you can do wrong, having lint in your AC vents is Offense A-Numero-Uno. In this regard, you must carry with you at all times, a dirty Q-tip. That dirty Q-tip, which you must produce upon demand, is proof positive that you don't have lint in your AC vents. You don't actually need to use the Q-tip to clean the vents -- you could use it for something else, like cleaning your ears (or something). In other words, it's the thought (and the Q-tip) that counts.
Rule No. 4: You must douse your tires in Armour All. In fact, anything short of using enough Armour All to float a battleship, is a Concours foul-out. Of course, it goes without saying that the Armour All must also appear, not only on the sidewalls, but on the tire treads themselves. Because everyone knows how practical it is, to Armour All the treads of your tires, when your car is parked in a muddy grass field. Hey, don't question the rules here -- it's just something that has to be done, if you want to win. Provided as noted above, that you have won before -- otherwise, you cannot win, regardless of how much Armour All you use, silly wabbit.
Rule No. 5: "Rags Down!" means, rags down, sucka! Unless you are a prior Concours Judge or Chair. In which case, "Rags Down!" means, "Rags Down, except for prior Concours Judges or Chairs -- you guys can keep on shinin', because you're going to get a trophy!" (Even if your car has a huge rip in the front seat, and rust on the a-pillars - hey, nobody's perfect, but that doesn't mean you're not going to get another trophy -- after all, you're a past judge!).
Rule No. 6: During the judging, it is imperative that you stand around and note, within earshot of the judges, precisely how many hours you spent "claying" your car, and that you tried "at least three different waxes" on your "other" car (a lowly mid-90s 3-series) to see "which one reacted the best, given the angle of the sun, the ambient air temperature, and the relative humidity." It might not hurt also to note exactly how early you placed your car on the field, timing matters perfectly to avoid any mid-morning dust kick-up, and any dew drops. Because as everyone knows, no self-respecting BMW owner would ever allow his or her car to be exposed to dust or dew! That might lead to something really, really bad -- like lint in the AC vents - horrors!
Rule No. 7: If at all possible, you should have a little scale model of your car, which you should place on the rear deck of your car. Particularly if it is an M-car. No Concours-winning car is complete without a scale model of itself. Also, please make sure that you bring with you, all of your past trophies. Please carry them in a large, leather suit case (preferably designer label). Please spread these trophies out on a blanket in front of your car. Because as noted above, it's important that you let the judges know that you are a past winner. See Rule No. 1, above.
Rule No. 8: Finally, if at all possible, make sure you have a new car (or relatively new car). For example, your 36-year old 2002 is bound to be dirty -- so why even try to clean it up? Much better to lease a new M-car, and then, don't drive it. Except to the Concours event, of course. You can drive it there. But please be aware, that if you drove the car, it will get dirty, but if you don't drive the car, then it follows that you increase the likelihood that it will be clean, and that you will win! Expressed as a formula: New car + little or no mileage = clean car, which in turn equals trophy. Provided, of course, that you've won before (again, see Rule No. 1). What if your new car gets dirty? Turn it in, and lease another one. Lease, enter, win, return, repeat. Get it?
So there you have it. It's so simple! Follow these eight simple rules, and those clean-car trophies will beat a path to your door. And above all, remember -- DON'T DRIVE YOUR CAR -- IT WILL GET DIRTY!!! Don't you just hate it when that happens?
Happy motoring -- Otis
PS -- To all those I have offended here -- well, to quote John Belushi in Animal House (after he smashed Stephen Bishop's guitar) -- "Sorry." To each his own, and remember, I'm just kidding -- and besides, who would you rather listen to on a Monday night, me or Theisman (does that guy ever shut up)?
I wanted to share this awesome ad with anyone who's interested! I saw it on Superbowl Sunday, but it wasn't put on youtube until a few days ago. As a Broncos fan, the game was painful. But seeing a beautiful 2002 on t.v. was a cool surprise!