"My Dearest Mr. _________,

It is with the utmost urgency that I reply to your urgent correspondence, I am blessed that you handle it with the most expedited urgency. Let me first say that I would be glad to assist you with your request, my associates Mr Ned Beatty and Mr Burt Reynolds have advised me that you have a real purty mouth, and that you are very accomodating in matters relating to said orifice, which pleases me greatly!

It would be my pleasure to assist you with the deliverance of the item I have listed for sale, once I complete my archery lessons with Mr Reynolds and my Banjo lessons with Mr Toofless- I will be able to devote my full and absolute attention to you and your mouf. Please do not hesitate to squeal like a pig should you need any assistance with any of these matters.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at your earliest convenience, I will likely be able to pay all associated fees as I have recently entered into an agreement with Mrs Gen Ukebe and she is kindly assisting me with the transfer of my portion of $40M US from her late husband's account in Nigeria.

Sincerly,

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